CNN
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Valentine’s Day has come to a close, and yet it seems there’s more stress and viral particles in the air than love.
There’s snow in Texas and barely a lick of snow in the Northeast (apparently Buffalo, New York, took it all). We learned that China cares about Montana and that Madonna is getting old – which is really just a reminder that we’re all getting old.
And no matter how many times we think the world’s problems can be solved, they stubbornly aren’t. (Okay, some things change, but that’s for another day.) Perhaps carpal tunnel is starting to set in on the finger used to swipe left or your partner has pulled the trigger for the thousandth time. It has been said.
Here’s your official permission to embrace your inner grin this Valentine’s Day. It definitely feels more like sitting on the couch in one’s underwear and eating Rocky Road out of a pint with a fork than it does like Valentine’s Day. No sharing required.
Down with love – or at least commercial love – and up with laziness!
Need more proof from last year? The so-called tripledemic sucked the fun out of so many people’s December holidays. The family gathering subsides, with Aunt Betty gathering respiratory infections around the tree. Your kid has back-to-back snotty things, and you’re more aware than ever about the difference between RSV, the flu, and Covid-19.
leaving us calm”resentmentAt work, feeling stuck with a possible economic downturn and mounting layoffs. Red and pink heart-shaped boxes have been tickling our consumer sensibilities since December 26, yet there’s something that’s sure to conjure up the energy to think creatively about Valentine’s Day gifts or plans. sounds awful.
Charm and romanticism are out of season for many. Can we just skip it this year and get to work on being funny for Flag Day?
New York City-based licensed marriage and family therapist, Damon L. “There are a lot of things running through people’s hearts and minds these days,” Jacobs said. “A chronic pandemic, record-breaking cold weather, threats to democracy, regular exposure to violent deaths on the news – all can lend themselves to a sense of unease, uncertainty and anger that romantic warmth and fuzziness can’t quell ”
During the last two Valentines Days, we were shocked, then left in agony. We had a summer of love, but the hype outweighed the actual summer. It’s not back to normal, but we don’t have words to describe where we are. This Valentine’s Day, take permission to forgo the pomp and circumstance of red hearts and do whatever your grumpy heart desires.
The cost of flowers is going up, and inflation is eating away at our heating and restaurant bills. No need to wine and dine or research tropical vacations you might never take. It’s like “name a cockroach after an ex” on Valentine’s Day. “Scorn on Erectile Dysfunction Ads” Like Valentine’s Day. There’s no pressure to buy a “most thoughtful and unique gift because otherwise it won’t be clear that the love is real” just like on Valentine’s Day.
This Valentine’s Day, go ahead and give in to your inner nerd. Who cares if you’re married or dating or engaged or pressured to swipe right or invited to Liquid brunch with the girls. you do you! Or better yet, do nothing!
“You are totally allowed to feel whatever you need to feel — remember, the holiday ends tomorrow,” says Arizona-based licensed marriage and family therapist Tami Zak. “If you need to smoke tonight, that’s all good.”
Buy a box of Russell Stover chocolates at the drugstore and eat them yourself. Ditch the sloppy love notes, hour-long foot massages followed by home-cooked meals and binge-watching shows your significant other would love to watch.
“You certainly don’t need anyone’s permission to experience happiness,” Jacobs said via email. “If you wait for permission, you’ll be missing out on a lot. But yes, you have a right to step out of the ‘should’ and create a holiday filled with kindness, gentleness, and joy. You can make a difference by taking care of yourself and having fun on your own terms.” Not doing anything wrong.
Watch that favorite show that your partner hates! Buy yourself a battery operated foot massager! Eat the rest of the Cheetos and lick every finger and don’t feel guilty!
“There is no right or wrong way to spend Valentine’s Day,” said New York-based clinical psychologist Dr. Jennifer Gutman. “Choose a tradition that feels right to you!”
According to Gutman, if you’re feeling extra grumpy, lonely or heartbroken, taking a break from social media on Valentine’s Day can help.
“People posting on social media is going to romanticize the day and if you’re already struggling, it’s going to add to your frustration,” Gutman said via email. “I advise my clients not to ‘interview pain’ by swiping through social media to create romantic movies to go with the post. Instead, unplug for the night and do something nice for yourself. .
According to Zak, getting out in nature can help ease grumps.
Rodney Luster, a licensed professional counselor, teacher and researcher in Leander, Texas, offers that people can simply “lean here now” and not try to force any particular feelings, plans or outcomes.
Quoting the ancient Chinese philosopher Zhuang Zhou, Luster said, “Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.”
Instead of setting expectations around Valentine’s Day or other big holidays, Shine recommends focusing on accepting that all days can be good and bad, so just make it your day.
So, bah humbug, selfish, resigned, anti-Valentine’s Day and choose to stew (or scoop ice cream) to your heart’s delight.